Six Weeks to the altar!

I just have no idea where the time has gone. Just six weeks now until the big day and I'm feeling surprisingly prepared. We seriously planned this shindig in like 5 weeks. It CAN be done! And it's going to be beautiful...I am so excited. I've never been happier in my life and feel so incredibly blessed. God is good indeed! Just a few minor details to tend to and we should be ready to roll. Hopefully I'll have lots of fun pictures to post when it's all said and done! This is our engagement picture, I just love how happy we both look! We truly are and I look forward to a lifetime of happiness with Steven!

Here Comes The Bride!!!!

Wow, is it time to dust off the old blog or what???!!! What better reason for a new post then to announce (yes, most likely to myself) that I am getting married on May 3, 2008! I am beyond excited about things and am busy planning but it has sure been lots of fun so far, for the most part! The invitations are going out in the mail this Saturday, which is incredibly hard to believe! I will post of picture of the happy couple...although Steven decided to keep his eyes half-closed! More later...just had to share the great news!

I'm Back!

Things are still going great with Steven...he's basically moved in to my place now and it's so wonderful to 'almost' officially have him there. We just have the key situation to figure out, and soon! It's not all perfect and we've had our fair share of skirmishes but overall I'd say we're doing just wonderful! We really do love each other and that's the most important thing.

I'm able to type this because I have a functioning computer at home again! Yay me! Steve just turned it on when he was home the other day and said it was just fine. Very strange, but it's great to be able to blog again! Work has really cracked down big time on internet usage so I can't even access my blog (or anyone else's) without using some of my allotted 'quota time'. It's so ridiculous. Apparently, they haven't driven enough people out of that company they thought they'd try another tactic to shake some more up. I really need a new job. But, right now I really need to start laundry and cleaning since Steve is working anyway. I'll check in later this week if I have a chance!

The Jury Is In!

Well, Joseph is out of the picture and it's all Steven! Things are going wonderfully well and I know I will marry this man. It tends to still sometimes have a bit of a surreal feel to it, but mostly it's just been amazing. He is so special to me and we have such wonderful times together. All of our friends tell us how happy we look together, like we're just meant to be. What a wonderful thing to hear! So, I could gush forever about him but I'll keep it short. I could have much more interesting blogs now with all of our new adventures together! I look forward to a life of sharing, loving and warmth with Steve! I could not be happier.

Back in the Saddle Again!

As it turns out...the dating thing is not, in fact, on hold. I ended up meeting a guy last Friday that had e-mailed me from myspace last week. His name is Steve and he looks like this (1st pic above). We talked on the phone after I had asked him if he wanted to join us at Canterbury for the evening. I think he freaked out (just a tiny bit maybe) and said he'd like to talk with me on the phone to get to know me a little better first. So, he called me Friday and we chatted and decided to meet for a walk, which actually turned out to be a short walk and then we sat at a picnic table for a while and chatted. We hit it off pretty well, didn't run out of conversation material and he was very complimentary and sweet to me. He's a super nice guy, that's for darn sure. So, he was very busy telling me how beautiful I am and how gorgeous my eyes are and we were just sitting facing each other, then I think we hugged and I initiated the first kiss, which was quite nice. He decided to accompany me to Canterbury, everyone liked him a lot...we went back to Dana's for a while with Suzanne and the gang and held hands a bit. He dropped me off (since we had dropped my car at the apartment before heading to the track) and we made out in his truck for quite a while. Then, I talked to him on the phone a couple times on Saturday, he called right away in the morning on his way to his softball tournament to thank me again for the night before and tell me what an awesome time he had and I ended up seeing him on Saturday night for a while again with Stacy. Last night we talked on the phone for 2 1/2 hours and it flew by like nothing! He's taking me to dinner tonight and I am really looking forward to seeing him again, even more so than I thought I would be. He is just so thoughtful, considerate, charming, complimentary, flattering and unassuming...what girl isn't going to like that.

And apparently, when it rains it pours. As I said in my previous post, in a fit of disappointment I decided to cancel my Match.com subscription and the very next day had an e-mail from a very cute guy, who I have since e-mailed and just heard back from today. His name is Joseph and he is on the right above. I'm hoping that I will hear back from him but it should be interesting because Suzanne committed a rather grave error earlier this morning. She's been keeping tabs on all the goings on and wanted me to forward the e-mail that Joseph had sent me. So, I did that, only when she replied to it she mistakenly sent it to Joseph instead of to me. There wasn't anything awful said, except that she said something about how it sounded like he came from money too, which is never a bad thing! So, I pretty much just laughed it off but she was really upset with herself. I ended up e-mailing Joseph and explaining the error and I said that I hoped he hadn't taken offense at anything that was said or the fact that I shared it with her in the first place. I really hope that I hear back from him though because, as you see, he is a beautiful man! He already mentioned potentially meeting for a drink sometime so I hope to hear back soon.

But, for the time being...I'm very much looking forward to my dinner with Steve tonight! It feels so great to be dating again.

FUGEDDABOUTIT!

So, the online dating gig reached an entirely new level of creepiness...enough to scare me away from it for quite a while actually. Match.com sent me my new matches for the day this morning and I was 'matched' with a guy I graduated from high school with. Wasn't attracted to him then and am not attracted to him now...since he hasn't changed one bit in the last 18 years! What is it about men not aging...ugh!

Oh well, it turns out that it's ok I'm putting the dating thing on hold since I have decided that the weight loss should come first and should definitely require my entire focus. Plus, school starts back up in one month (less than, actually) so I will have that on my plate as well. I'm starting Weight Watchers tomorrow and am sticking with it until EVERYTHING is gone...100+ lbs. I think I can do it within 1 year and by then I will be feeling better about lots of things, well, at least that's my guess. If anyone should feel so inclined as to follow my progress through the next year...I have started a new blog to track my weight loss journey. Here is my new URL, http://weightbgone07.blogspot.com/.

Wish me luck!!!!

Players Need Not Reply!

A few weeks ago I decided to venture back onto the dating scene, or at least test the waters. I'm about to get back onto dry land. I have my toes dipped into several different sites, taking advantage of all that I can do free of charge. I have had the most success with one particular site, though I have yet to actually meet anyone in person. There are just too many players and weirdos out there apparently. I was supposed to (potentially) meet up with a guy I had spoken at length with last week and via the phone once as well. Now, he's gone cold shoulder on me and I really want to give him a piece of my mind (and nothing else to go with it), but I don't even know if it's worth my time and effort. Freakin' jerks. I'm tired of it already and have been reminded of why I usually don't bother. Aye caramba...I give up already!

Basket Case

Yes, there is too much on my plate...literally and figuratively. I am on the very brink of so many things here and just don't know where my focus should go. I know without question that it can't be evenly distributed...I'm just not made that way. Oh, sure I can multi-task at work but when it comes to my personal life, it's just easier for me to place all my eggs in one basket, shall we say.

#1 - Post-bankruptcy, I really need to work on creating a realistic, livable budget and stop living outside of my means. I do believe that's what got me into this fine mess in the first place. So, my financial life should be taking up a large part of my time and efforts just so I can get back on track here with things.

#2 - I am also itching to start dating again and have dipped my feet in several on-line services, merely taking advantage of the free trial periods before I decide which, if any, I want to pay to use. The whole concept rather irks me and adds a whole new dimension to the desperation factor, but I guess it is what it is.

#3 - The dating thing is somewhat on the backburner because I also really want to lose weight and just don't feel that happy with myself, which makes me question whether I should really be concentrating on the dating thing.

So, therefore I don't really know where to put my eggs, so to speak...since they really are most comfortable when all in the same basket. And let's face it...at this stage in my life, I really need to keep the eggs happy since my hope is that someday they'll return the favor!

Welcome to my 37th year!

Happy Birthday to me...Happy Birthday to me...Happy Birthday Dear Trudy...Happy Birthday to me!!!! Call me pathetic, I don't care...I'm 36 today and I'm going to celebrate even if I have to sit at my crappy desk at my crappy job all day long. This sucker of a day only comes around once a year and I'm going to celebrate! So here's to me and here's to me again, Happy Birthday!

Endless Night

It's 3:51pm and I don't think I'm anywhere close to this work day ending. How sad for me. Yesterday was a horrendous day as our main system was down the entire day, which did not help us to prepare what little we could have prepared for month end today. So, as a collective group yesterday afternoon, we decided that we would stay as late as necessary tonight so that we would not have to come in on Saturday as well. I'm afraid we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. Ugh! Unfortunately, I will not be coming in tomorrow since it will be the last chance I have to see my parents before they leave for the winter (and late Summer and Fall). So, it could get quite ugly here. Hopefully, I can get a few hours' sleep before hitting the road tomorrow morning! Happy 4th of July all!

Day 1 - almost

"If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories"

This is my last day of food freedom! I signed up for Weight Watchers today and will go for my first weigh-in tomorrow, although I have an idea of where I'm at. This also means, of course that I'll need to start my exercising again. That's always a bitch to get going on, I just hate it. However, given that I also decided to quit smoking this week...that should make it somewhat easier for me. So, now I'm trying to decide what I want my 'last meal' to be. In the event that I don't make it to a meeting tomorrow as intended, I'll go on Tuesday, which is going to be my regular meeting day. I am really pumped to get moving on this, it's a real late start, considering half of it was supposed to be gone by my birthday (which is now in 3 weeks). So, I suppose I'll have to set a new goal now. Three weeks from today I will be down 7lbs. Woohoo, here I go!

P.C. Gone Wild?

This just strikes me as hilarious. So, apparently just certain departments or certain people receive recognition/celebrations/decorations on their birthdays...I won't go in to trying to figure that out right now because it really makes no sense anyway.

So, on to the hilarity. I will preface this by saying that I have no prejudices, ill feelings or any negative association with homosexuals whatsoever. As I have stated before, I have friends that are gay and "to each his own" is a favorite and oft quoted motto of mine. That aside, there is a lesbian in our accounting department and it happens to be her birthday today. She also happens to be one of the lucky few who has received the birthday accoutrement. I fear that those in charge of decorating her cube may have been very confused and/or nervous as to just how to do so without offending or misstepping in any way, shape or form. The result was utterly ridiculous, if I do say so myself. She also happens to be a hockey player and so her cube is doused with inflatable hockey sticks and a sign that says 'Hockey Birthday'. It is more masculine than any of the cubes I have previously seen decorated for the men in the building. I can hardly wait to see what the gift is. People, sometimes simple just is best.

Oh well, whatever gets me the free brownie and ice cream for birthday dessert.

Sulky Wednesday

I am sulking today...a lot, actually. They say you should stick to what you're good at and I will admit...I can sulk with the best of them! My miserable existence is prime sulking ground right now. First off, my $300 reimbursement for the dental work I had completed in Mexico in February ended up being a $15.65 reimbursement. Why should my luck change now, right? So, I was planning to take the check, have a friend/co-worker cash it today and have myself a real grand night out on the town at bingo. The friend/co-worker called in sick today, forgetting that this $15 check was pretty damn important to me right now, I've been peppered with phone calls and messages from an unrequited love of mine who I have been trying to shake now for months which is not helping to settle the sulking at all. Just more of the same from him, words that mean absolutely nothing to me. So, that's not pleasant.

I'm going to turn this day around though...I promise you, I will. My girl Stacy and I are going to bingo tonight, whether I have to hawk the damn dvd player or not and we are winning big, and when I say big...I'm not talking little. Later, I'm off to sulk.

I've got your whistle for you right here!

I know it's late, much too late to still be at work...but it's month end and I'm ready to strangle our cleaning guy to death. He has been whistling for the past 1/2 hour, he is at the other end of the building, I have my earphones on, plugged in to the computer, listening to Cities 97 and I can STILL hear him. He is Asian and barely speaks English and yet he is still, miraculously, able to whistle right along with whoever the hell is singing "Eternal Flame"...was that The Bangles, I can't quite remember it's been so long. Anyway, it is irritating the hell out of me and I want to strangle him. In a way it's confusing because how could he know this song so well and not speak a lick of English, with the exception of 'Hello' and 'Good Night'? And why is it that some people can whistle so loudly? I wonder why nobody else has mentioned how irritating it is, guess it's just me. I think I'll go pop him one right now.

Bingo Blues

What a blah week I've had. I suppose the dark, dreary, rainy weather could have played a small part in the overall misery of the week...but just a small part. I've just been out of sorts I suppose, not feeling like myself...whatever myself is supposed to feel like? Ok, too philosophical, I get it. I've been hitting the bingo hall a lot this week and don't have a penny to show for it, this after borrowing money from a coworker/friend (she offered it to me) after spending the last of my money at the bingo hall last week and not winning crap. Oh, sorry...I guess I did take home $12. I don't understand where the money goes...I'm a little disgusted with myself and guess I need to get all of this out of my system so that I can start to work within a budget after this bankruptcy. I have my 'court' date and am ready to just have all of this done so I can start over. Hopefully things will go off without too many hitches.

Dating Dip

After a very long, yet peaceful hiatus, I believe I am ready to jump back into the dating pool. I just have to decide which online service I will partake in. I think that the combination of school being out and summer on the horizon I am just ready for some company of the male persuasion. The trouble is, I don't enjoy the whole dating process. Where a lot of people love to meet new people and get to know them, I find it quite grueling and painstaking at times. There's entirely too much sorting that has to happen...I like this about the person, I don't like this about the person. Then you have to decide if the good outweighs the bad, let alone all of the questioning I pose to myself about what they could possibly be thinking about me. I'm just ready though, I'm not getting out there to meet people, so I guess I will need a third party to help with that. There is still such a desperate vibe for me with the whole online dating gig, but it does provide a wonderful opportunity to meet and come into contact with people I would probably never otherwise have the opportunity to meet. So...time to get my feet wet again. Here goes nothing, hopefully the first guy won't pee in my pool!

It's all a blur now!

I was very disappointed on Friday when I learned that I received a final grade of C+ in my Intro to Mass Comm class. I can't even remember the last time I got a C. It was not a good afternoon. I was somewhat recovered to see that I received an A- in my English class, so at least I have maintained my B average. I still didn't like the C+, but I will have to take my lump. I was very surprised to see that I did worse on the final in that class than I did on the midterm. I left that classroom last week after having taken the test and I felt very, very good about it. I felt that I had gotten a B or possibly even an A. I got 14 fewer points on the final than I did on the midterm, which resulted in a low C. I don't know what went wrong on that one, but now I don't really care either because I am done until September!

It Is Finished!

I just got back from turning in my final research paper, only 22hrs late. I made it through my first semester and while perhaps not with the brightest flying colors, I did make it unscathed. It actually really sucked having to walk past all the bars/restaurants as I walked the 10 blocks to deliver my paper since all the traditional students were busy celebrating the end of the semester. Boy did that cerveza look good today! Oh well, perhaps another time I will have to take the day off to celebrate properly. I am ready for my summer break now!

Hello...I'm Murphy's Law

What was supposed to have been the greatest day for me in a long time has been the longest, most horrific in a long time. Where do I begin? Ok, I'll start at 3am, since that's when my day began.

Since I didn't finish my final research project in time to turn it in when I went to school yesterday to take my last final, the plan was to run it over on my lunch hour today. Plan aborted. First of all, I was too wiped out after my final last night to really work much more on the paper, though I did do a bit when I got home (after watching a horrible Idol show). The plan was then to catch a few hours of shut eye and wake up refreshed and ready to finish the paper. I was up at 3am and did just that, with a few breaks and a LOT of coffee sandwiched in between. The next part of the plan was to forward my completed research paper to my e-mail since I don't have a functioning printer at home and would have to print it out at work. This is where things started to go awry. I was not able to forward the paper to any of a number of
e-mail addresses I attempted (5 in all, which could all be accessed from work). So, in a fit of frustration, and with no time left on the clock, I came into work hoping that by some miracle of events it may have forwarded somewhere. To no avail. Plan changed. After e-mailing my professor to explain the difficulties I had encountered, I decided I wouldn't abandon ship just yet. I decided to use my lunch hour to run home and save my paper to the disc in my drive so that I could still print it out and get it to her by 4:30pm today, which was the deadline. Well, you guessed it, no dice. Upon returning home, I discovered that what I believed to be a rewritable disc was in fact, not rewritable. Drove back to work, got a rewritable something or other to use in my computer at home to save the damn paper, returned home, thought I had saved the paper but yes, the paper was not saved. Now, to say I have been at my wit's end since around 7:30am this morning would be putting it very mildly indeed.

After my second unsuccessful round trip home and back, I decided to e-mail my professor for the 3rd time to tell her it didn't look like it was going to happen today. She did get back to me and extended her sympathies for my e-problems, saying tomorrow would be fine. I'm still wired beyond belief. Calgon...get your ASS over here!

A return to the (all too) familiar!

That's right...I was belly up again last night. There was a time when I thought I could never set foot in the bar again...that is, THE bar. In its' heyday, it really had an unnatural pull...one I could never quite put my finger on, but it was like a drug...it kept pulling me back and sucking me in. I believe I probably looked much like the above picture at the time. I've been there several times within the past month now and I'm starting to feel that gravitational pull again. Granted, it's not quite as strong as it once was (for 7+ years)...but it's tugging nonetheless. Perhaps there is some sentiment in the fact that this is the first bar I ever went to alone. I can thank the ex-boyfriend for that, we used to stop in once in a while and I got to know the bartender Dave, so I had absolutely no qualms about going up there one night by myself when the ex and I had a knock-down, drag-out. Turns out that was the first night of entirely too many nights. However, I got to know the gang and met some wonderful people, my best girl Stacy for one, who I can't imagine not having in my life...so for the most part it was worth it. They were dark, dark days though...days not easily revisited in my mind.

There's something almost hauntingly familiar about seeing the same faces I saw so very often for so very long. It's wonderful and yet, at the same time so incredibly sad. I guess it's hard to explain. I think that even though it's pulling at me again and I do enjoy stopping in periodically, the bottom line is that I just have no interest in returning to that life again. That was not a good time in my life and so even while I thought I was enjoying it so much then, in retrospect I realize just how horribly miserable and ridiculously depressed I was. I guess that feeling will always, in some way accompany my visits to this bar. I'm sure I'll be there a few more times and there are still people I'd like to see again that I haven't been able to yet, but I'm sure the pull won't reign victorious this time...I've had enough of that drug.