Celebrate Friendship!

Yesterday, I had lunch with a longtime friend…we’ve known each other since before our first memories were firmly locked into our brains…over 30 years now. We have been drifting in our friendship for several years now, as our lives have moved in very different directions and we find more and more often that we have less and less in common. While it was nice to get together and catch up on each other’s lives, I found myself waxing nostalgic even more on my drive there. She lives about 45-50 miles from me, in a direction I don’t often travel…a stretch of highway filled with small suburbs. As my car trudged forward, I traveled backward in my mind, reliving old memories and friendships, many of which no longer exist. I became very introspective and began analyzing my friendships, both past and present. This is what I traveled across:

Town #1: The hometown of a college love…not an ex-boyfriend mind you, just someone I fell madly in love with and at the time, thought for sure I could not live without but never bothered to share any or all of this information with him. He is now married to another girl from college and I believe they have one or two children. While we were friends in college, it didn’t extend beyond those years but also reminded me of other college buddies.

Town #2: At one time, this town held in it a bar/restaurant that I used to hit with some friends every Tuesday night for all you can eat crab and really great drinks…only now I can’t remember the name of the restaurant or the drink. I can, however, certainly remember the friends and the good times that were shared each week. These were also college/work friends from the first college I attended (yes, there were two before I finished). I have recently, within the past couple of years, reconnected with one of them and see her occasionally, but the others have disappeared without a trace.

Town #3: This was the hometown of a different college friend who I once lived with for about a year. We are no longer friends and had an uncomfortable parting over something very trite and unnecessary, yet the damage was irreparable. It was also the town that her 18yr old brother was buried in after being involved in a major snowmobile accident. He was in a coma and they were told he would more than likely never come out of it due to the head trauma…they pulled the plug.

Town #4: Among this town’s residents are a couple friends from several years ago who I no longer associate with, for various reasons…namely, they’ve become snobs. Perhaps they always were and I just failed to recognize this fact in the drunken stupor, which I was in almost every time we associated. However, one of the fondest memories I have was singing the theme song to “Three’s Company” at karaoke…we had the crowd a hoppin’.

That was the last town in route to my friend’s house that caused me to recall these particular friends, along with many fun stories about each of them. Then, while visiting with my friend, she was talking about the fact that she would be getting together with some other girlfriends for dinner this week. Each one that she mentioned I knew, as I went to high school with all of them as well. She has remained friends with all of them through the years, and while I am sure they have also had their rifts along the way, it was just different than what happened with us and they have always stayed in contact. This then sent me into another fit of analysis on the way home, causing me to wonder why it seems so many of my friendships are fleeting. Not to say that I don’t have several friends that I haven’t lost contact with for any marked period of time, and with whom I have been friends for many, many years. It’s just interesting though, how different people can come into your life for a short period of time and yet still leave an indelible mark. I was reminded of a favorite little poem of mine by William Wordsworth that goes like this (or something close to it)

While nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, or glory in flowers; we will grieve not, but rather find strength in that which remains behind.

I am grateful for all of the friendships I have had in the past, for all the friendships I currently have and for those that I will have in the future. TO FRIENDSHIP (clink)!