Ostrich Alert!

Denial...It's not just a river in Egypt! I have been living in a world of denial when it comes to my finances for a long time now and I'm beginning to think I need to snap out of it. If there were ever a reason to turn back time on my own personal clock, this would be it. However, I wonder how much of it could actually be remedied were I to do that? I always pose the old rhetorical...'if only I knew then what I know now', ah yes. Unfortunately, I didn't. Except that I don't think it would have stopped me. I wonder how much of this is really by choice, as opposed to how much of it is hard-wired into us. For instance, I'd like to be more organized, but that's not who I am. I don't consider myself to be truly irresponsible when it comes to money, however, I have made some very poor choices at best. Right now, I am contemplating how best to go about gathering all of my outstanding debt together so that I can see what my options are. I'm afraid to look at that bottom line, but that time is long overdue. I need to get my shit straight once and for all, and I fear I may be facing bankruptcy. I had mixed feelings about this for a long time and am still not certain it's what I should do...mostly moral objections...but that is probably a little too 'high falutin' for me to say now. I mean morality can only get you so far, right? It doesn't pay the bills, put food on the table and in the kitty's dish or keep a roof over our heads. The trouble is, I don't even know where to start because I have been avoiding phone calls from collectors for over a year now. I'd like to start living again and I fear I may have to hit rock bottom before I can swim to the surface of that river in Egypt!