Thursday, November 30, 2006

Are We There Yet?

Here I sit once again...
month end starts, but never ends...
9pm, no end in sight...
perhaps I'll leave before morning light.

Ok, pretty bad poem...but I'm tired. I would give my left nut (ok, I don't have one, but if I did, I would totally give it up) to just go home right now. My mind is fading fast and I have so much to remember before tomorrow. It is going to be a hectic weekend and I have so much to get together before tomorrow. I think sometimes I psyche myself out just worrying about things, but it's too much. Perhaps I've just had too much idle time lately that when I have a schedule that's full I just become easily overwhelmed. It's just that it's one of those deals where I have to go home tonight and pack things for overnight tomorrow and I also have a very narrow window of time between getting home Saturday afternoon and having to leave again...with a myriad of things to do in that time! I suppose I'll manage.

I don't know...but what I do know is that I look forward to my next career. I'm not sure what that will be exactly but I can guarantee that the end of the month won't have nearly the amount of significance that it does in this 'job'. The next thing I do will be something I enjoy doing, end of story! I am waiting to hear whether I will be starting school in January and I'm hoping that I will be...I need something to really engage my mind, I feel I'm getting dumber in this job! I'm just really anxious for a totally new start at something. It does help me to know that it is on the horizon.

"Bleak House" Part 2

I think I need to start writing scripts for television. I finished my 'Bleak House' series last night and, while it was good, it was entirely too predictable. Perhaps, this is merely due to my shrewdness, hard to say...but I had it all figured out before the last episode. I did feel that it was too hurried in the end though and thought they could have stretched it out by at least one more episode. There were certainly things I did NOT like about it, and the hurriedness at the end ranks at the top of that list. I thought it was just too forced toward the end and left very little to be desired. I think I will definitely have to read the Dickens' book now and may check out the earlier version of the series.

Now, it's back to my "Queer as Folk"...I'm almost done with season 2 of 5! I suppose I'll be sucked right back into that now...but still, it was a nice break. Talk about your polar opposites though!!!!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

"Bleak House" Part 1

I love period pieces and have found myself sucked into yet another BBC Drama! I have been watching 'Bleak House' (a 3-disc, 15 episode series). At first, I wasn't really drawn in but have now found myself awake at the wee hours of the morning to catch a few more episodes before I start my day! I don't know...it could be that I'm just a real sucker for the accents again since I LOVE English people...but there is something to be said about the characters as well. Perhaps it all comes down to the writing but I think they have a real knack for casting, as well. The characters are so rich and delightful and spur so much emotion, both positive and not so positive. It has even drawn me away from another series that I have been following (and also quite enjoying), however...it has taken a most assured back seat to this one. I can't wait to finish the series tonight and I know I'll be buying it for myself very soon! Can't wait to see how it ends!!!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Huh?

The human brain is a mystery to me. While there are many myths and unfounded truths out there about what contributes to the loss of brain cells, at times I truly believe mine just opt to cash in on some much deserved vacation time. For instance, this past weekend while at the library, I decided to pick out a couple movies...one which I have been wanting to see for a long time now. Turns out, once I got home and started watching it...I discovered I had already seen it...and really, not that terribly long ago. At first, it just seemed familiar as though I may have caught parts of it somewhere before. Then, I realized as I got into it more that it wasn't just familiar, but that I had seen the movie in its' entirety before. I wondered what was happening in my brain at the time I originally watched it because I know I wasn't drinking (or partaking in any other of the myriad of neuron-depleting fallacies ). I was truly stumped when trying to come up with the circumstances related to this mental error...and am still stumped now. I have had this happen before, while not with movies, with books. For the longest time, my cousin was telling me I just had to read these two books she had and finally I borrowed them from her. Only it turns out I had not only read them both before...but borrowed them both from her to read before. I realized this shortly after I started the first one...just a few pages in and the same could be said for the second book. Fortunately, they were both 'one sitting' reads for me and I think I had them both read in a weekend. And yes, they were that good that I was able to reread them.

So, in summation...it would seem that I am not the only one suffering from these mental lapses, since my cousin was so eager to lend the books to me a second time. We both had a good laugh about it...but it does certainly leave me wondering just what is going on up there sometimes...or, more aptly put, what isn't!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Time Capsules

Too much time on my hands! I swear I get less accomplished the more time I have to accomplish things in. For instance, I was so looking forward to my 4-day weekend and all I would be able to do. Well, ok...Thursday was basically a wash with all the cooking and moving around, so we'll just call it a 3-day weekend. But still. And it's not even that I didn't do anything...I did plenty of things, just not what I really wanted to do. It's odd really, but I've always been that way with time. I do better when I'm rushed and have to get things done quickly then I do if I have oodles and oodles of time. It works the same for me in the mornings...if I get up early I think how nice it is that I have all that extra time to just ease into my day, then before I know it...I'm running quite late. So, this morning I woke up and thought about how nice it would be if I just had one more day to work with...alas, here I am...plugging away at work, wondering when I'll be able to squeeze everything in. Guess I'll just have to chip away at it. Ok, that never really works for me either!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Holiday Blues

What a difference a day makes! Not always in a good way either. Honest, I'm not bipolar...but today I'm just majorly bumming. I don't even know that it was anything terribly specific that caused such a swing, a couple minor things maybe. The holidays are usually a bit tough for me with my parents in AZ but I still typically look forward to them. Perhaps the fact that my brother won't be coming for Thanksgiving is part of it...but I'm just feeling a bit lost right now, and incredibly lonely. It's an odd feeling...almost like I just don't quite know where my place is. I have a wonderful extended family and will be among a very large group tomorrow, but still there is this strange void. I don't like it and I don't think I really want to have it explained to me either. I sure hope it doesn't last long, because it really sucks. Nonetheless, Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!

I can't help it...no matter how shitty things in my life seem to be going...I can't help but feel good this time of year. I love the holiday season and everything about it...well, that is, everything except for the shopping malls! I'm a one-stop shopper when it comes to Christmas shopping. I will not go until I know exactly what I am going to be buying...I don't do crowds. I laughed out loud when my choir director said that the Mall of America had requested we sing there on the day after Thanksgiving. HA! Black Friday? I don't think so...parking is atrocious enough without adding that into the mix. Incidentally, we won't be performing at M.O.A. this year! Choir helps me get into the spirit...Christmas music in general can do that. I've been known to play it in the middle of the summer if I need a little pick-me-up! Of course, knowing full well that the Muzac station at work will begin the Christmas music next week, there is a limit to my love of 'all things holiday'. The muzac does get old...but at least I know I can go home and listen to whatever my heart desires!

As for the food...well, let's just say I've decided to start the diet on January 1, again! It's worked for me before...so I'm going to give it another shot next year. Something to be said about starting fresh RIGHT at the start of the year, plus it will be easier to mark my progress that way. Anyway, back to the food. Who doesn't love the food? I love trying new recipes to bring to family gatherings...and I don't even like to cook...but still, it's fun this time of the year! So, hopefully things will continue to feel this jubilant even after the holidays!

Friday, November 17, 2006

and..."EX"hale

Yikes...I thought I just saw my ex-boyfriend in my office! I was on my way out for lunch and I had to do a double take. We have some auditors in working with our accounting departments and this guys profile totally threw me...I thought I was staring at my ex...never mind the fact that he is a journalist and wouldn't have any reason to be here. I was struck with that perfect mix of panic and embarrassment! However, the story of our parting is actually somewhat humorous...after the fact, of course. I was plenty peeved at the time. What? Yes...of course I'll share the story!

It was actually kind of fateful to be honest. It would have been almost 3 years ago to the date that we met on a dating service. It just so happens we had met on the same service 6 years prior, at which time we went on a handful of dates and then just kind of broke up without really breaking up. That seems to be our history, unfortunately. So, we decided to get together (again, about 3 years ago to the date) and see what happened this time around. We discovered what had happened 6 yrs prior...we had both met other people and ended up in somewhat long-term relationships (for 2 and 3 years). So, we began dating again. Now, I should preface all of this by saying that I was (as I still am) quite broke at the time and on top of that, not driving...a nasty repercussion resulting from my 2nd D.U.I. (yeah, not great times for me). So, he was quite accommodating given all of these circumstances, alongside the fact that he lived about 30 miles away and did all of the driving. So, I guess the fact that we dated for 5 months is a bit miraculous in and of itself. Not to say that I didn't pay for ANYTHING but I believe I figured out what led to our eventual demise after the fact. Our last date was on a Saturday afternoon/evening. He drove the 30 miles to pick me up, we then drove to a theater that was another 15-20 miles away (in the opposite direction) to see a movie. I had about $15 to my name at this time, but knew we were seeing a cheap movie, since it was at the return theater...I wasn't worried. I paid for the movie (woo hoo...big spender that I am, I think it was $4). We went for dinner afterward, at his suggestion, and he picked up the tab and also left the tip. Ok, I should have offered to leave the tip, but come on! So, I have since figured out that it was the return trip home that led to me demise. We were close to my place when suddenly he said 'Whoa...I better get some gas before heading home, I'm dangerously close to empty'. Now, rather than proceed to drop me off since we were just a few short blocks from my house...he asked me where the closest station was, then turned around to drive several miles in the opposite direction. I now know that this was a test to see if I would offer to pay for the gas. Clearly, I hadn't the money. However, being that I did still have about $10, I ran into the store to get coffee and bread, while he filled up his tank. Our good night exchange was less than warm, the kiss was barely near par and I walked into the house, completely oblivious but sensing something was off. So, I have since figured out that he must certainly have deemed me a cheap bitch. However, rather than just come straight out and tell me that, he just completely stopped calling me altogether. I believe I called him twice after that and the first time, I came to learn later on, he flat out lied to me. He stated that he was going to be on assignment for a weekend activity which had actually already taken place the previous weekend. I hadn't even asked him if he wanted to get together...he was just cutting to the quick before I could. So, basically the boy had no 'nads' whatsoever and chose to just be an ass instead. I was bitter and pissed for a long time, and I was pretty good to him in those 5 months. For instance, we had been to a used record store where he spotted a 'Lenny Bruce' album (he collects L.P's) that he really, really wanted to get, but didn't want to spend the $50 for. I knew he was really jonesing for it because he walked all the way over to me at the opposite end of the store to show it to me. It was actually pretty cute. So, remember...I'm not driving now but I still made it a point to take the bus to downtown MPLS to purchase this album for him (with $50 I most certainly did not have). I gave it to him for no particular reason, along with a cutesy little lovey, dovey card. He was touched, I know...and the parting was much warmer that night. That also ended up being the date before our last date and the last time I thought I had seen him, until today...when I thought I saw him, but didn't really see him. Capiche? Funny story though...I crack myself up sometimes!

Disastrous Dental Debacle!

Yes...my trips to the dentist seemed to be all for naught and I have been left with a mess of unfinished business in the upper left hand corner of my mouth. I am furious with the way things were handled at this office. I have only been going there for a little over a year and I thought it was a decent place but I will never set foot in that office again.

When I was told last spring that I would need this extensive dental work and the #'s were first gone over with me, I was given a brochure for a credit plan that is used in lieu of paying the full amount or making payments to the office directly. Apparently, they like to see their gazillion dollars right up front, regardless of the source. Well, naturally I didn't qualify for this, since it is essentially a credit card, and told them as much at the dental office. I actually avoided the whole issue for six months until my next appointment (I only needed the one root canal originally). There was actually no discussion about this whatsoever, nor was I given a suitable alternative. I was given a copy of the work to be done, showing what my portion would be, etc...and the work was scheduled. The only thing I was told prior to starting the work was that it looked like the first appointment, or portion of the work would be covered by my insurance and then after that, I'd be on my own. I went along my way the afternoon of my first appointment with nary a word from anyone, only to be told after my next appointment that I needed to pay close to $1100 for the work that had been done. My jaw basically dropped and I said something akin to 'huh'? I said I did not have that and they proceeded to ask me if anyone had gone over what would be owed at this point in the process. I said no...repeated what was said to me about how the first appointment would be covered by my insurance, and that this was still a continuation of that first appointment. They again asked me if I had applied for the ‘Care Credit’…I again told them no. So, they then asked me how much of it I had at that time...well, clearly the answer was nothing, but I felt in a pinch (and don't do well at all with when I am feeling cornered) so I said I could pay $100...which, of course I really couldn't afford and which led to other bills not being paid. I then told them I would have to pay the remainder in two installments and gave them the dates of my next two pay periods. My next appointment was scheduled for the 31st of October and my first payment was scheduled to be made on the 1st of November. So, I thought I'd be doing ok...could slide in and get the rest of the work done and then worry about the payments later. After I signed their little piece of paper stating I would be making these payments of close to $500 on these two days, she said, 'Now, if something should happen and you don't make these payments...the full amount will be due immediately'. Apparently, the absurdness of this statement was completely lost on her because she looked at me with a quasi-serious expression. Wait, it gets better.

So, on the afternoon of the 30th...late afternoon, by the way, I received a message to call the dental office ASAP regarding my appointment the following morning. I call back and speak to the same woman lacking a good solid base in reality. She says that when we made these payment arrangements she was not aware that I had already scheduled my next appointment and proceeds to tell me that this next portion would be $1100 out of my pocket. She says that would be due before the work could be started. Now, I know you're probably still with me here, but let's back up. My first scheduled payment of close to $500 was scheduled to be made the day AFTER my appointment. Since at this point I didn't even have that...where did she think I was going to come up with the $1100? As far as I knew, the amount quoted me was for all of the work I was to have done. So, I asked her if I was just supposed to sit here with these temporary crowns in my mouth and she said I didn't even have temporary crowns yet. In other words, I've had the root canals done, along with a crown 'buildup'. She said that I could come in and have some temporary fillings put in, but my portion for that would be $149 up front. At this point, I laughed out loud, couldn't help it. I said, yeah...that's what I'll do, completely unnecessary expenses on top of the $2100 you're saying I would owe you were I to have you complete this mess you’ve started. She asked me if I was still going to be able to make the first payment scheduled and I said, no...not all of it. She said I should call her and let her know the next day, otherwise it would get ‘ugly’. I said...sweetheart, it's already ugly, and thanks in large part to the negligence of your office staff, yourself very much included, I have a mouth full of half-completed dental work and no way in which to complete it. So, after not sending any money in on the 1st, I received a delinquency notice in the mail...ooh, scare me. I still owe them close to $1000 and am not concerned as to when it gets paid at this point. Right now, my biggest concern is finding a reputable dental office that will complete this work and hopefully agree to a payment plan, otherwise I imagine I will soon have two gaping holes in the upper left hand corner of my mouth...which would not be good, at all. I wish I would have never started with it, but who knew? Am I naïve enough to think I could escape this without have to pay a cent…of course not…but they did not clearly define what would be due and when before said work could be performed. It is not good business practice to start something with someone you know is having some financial issues without going through exactly what would be required of them. Gee…do you think maybe because I applied for the damn credit in the first place, I might not have $2000 to give you? Think people…think.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I Declare...or Do I?

Aye...I'm in a quandary! I have been on a rehabilitation plan for my severely defaulted student loans for several months now but have missed some payments. In my usual fashion, I have ignored the phone calls from my agent...because seriously, why call someone just to tell them you DON'T have the money yet. Per the agreement, I was to have made 12 consecutive payments in order for the loan to come out of default. Well, I figure since I've botched the agreement...and haven't received a phone call from the agent for a couple weeks now...I'm just going to skip it at this time. If they come after me, I'll have a pretty valid excuse anyway since I'll probably be filing for bankruptcy. Plus, my previous agent had informed me that if I was unable to complete the agreement per the terms, I could file a financial hardship claim with them...I figure that would at least delay the possibility of wage garnishment. I think other matters need to take precedence right now. So, I have made an executive decision to cease making payments at this time. Now, I just need to move on the rest of the crap! I have to start calling back creditors and getting #'s together, etc...so that I have something to present to whoever I end up seeing about all of this. I know I will feel much better once I have accomplished all of these things...however, the task is entirely too daunting right now!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Ostrich Alert!

Denial...It's not just a river in Egypt! I have been living in a world of denial when it comes to my finances for a long time now and I'm beginning to think I need to snap out of it. If there were ever a reason to turn back time on my own personal clock, this would be it. However, I wonder how much of it could actually be remedied were I to do that? I always pose the old rhetorical...'if only I knew then what I know now', ah yes. Unfortunately, I didn't. Except that I don't think it would have stopped me. I wonder how much of this is really by choice, as opposed to how much of it is hard-wired into us. For instance, I'd like to be more organized, but that's not who I am. I don't consider myself to be truly irresponsible when it comes to money, however, I have made some very poor choices at best. Right now, I am contemplating how best to go about gathering all of my outstanding debt together so that I can see what my options are. I'm afraid to look at that bottom line, but that time is long overdue. I need to get my shit straight once and for all, and I fear I may be facing bankruptcy. I had mixed feelings about this for a long time and am still not certain it's what I should do...mostly moral objections...but that is probably a little too 'high falutin' for me to say now. I mean morality can only get you so far, right? It doesn't pay the bills, put food on the table and in the kitty's dish or keep a roof over our heads. The trouble is, I don't even know where to start because I have been avoiding phone calls from collectors for over a year now. I'd like to start living again and I fear I may have to hit rock bottom before I can swim to the surface of that river in Egypt!

Monday, November 13, 2006

"Stranger Than Fiction"

This is the best movie I have seen in a long time! Once I got past the largely moronic audience who felt it necessary to laugh everytime Will Ferrell opened his mouth (merely because he IS Will Ferrell) I thoroughly enjoyed all it had to offer. The movie is perfectly cast, barring one exception, and almost believable in its' delivery. The characters are just so authentically human and sufferable that it is positively endearing. The aforementioned exception would be Queen Latifah's character, whose sole purpose in the film was to prod Emma Thompson along with the completion of her novel, it got old...fast. Overall, I highly recommend it, though you may want to wait for video so you don't have to withstand the idiocy of the audience!

This Friday...Bond baby...James Bond.

Friday, November 10, 2006

TRUNOWRIMO!

Wow...that's got a great ring, no? While I won't count my writing days as over and done with...I no longer believe that my NANOWRIMO project is going to come off without a MAJOR hitch! In other words, since I haven't written anything besides my opening character sequence and I am now on Day 10, with only 20 days to go, I don't think my 175 pages will be completed by month end. So, instead of being part of the 'National Novel Writing Month' (NANOWRIMO) I have just coined December 'Trudy's Novel Writing Month' (TRUNOWRIMO)! First, because I truly do think it has a great ring, and second...because I can really cheat and nobody ever has to know but me. Cool, it's a plan. I know I have a novel in me that's just screaming to get out. Hey...this way I won't even have to limit it to the 175 pages!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

It's Called a SickBED for a Reason!

Sickness belongs at home! My current employer has the oddest sick policy I have NEVER come across. The first 8 hours of every sick occurrence are unpaid, followed by up to 2 days paid. If you are absent beyond the 3rd day, a doctor's note is required. That part is understandable, the part that is unexplainable (to me) is the initial unpaid 8hrs. The reasoning behind this...according to our H.R. department...is to decrease the sick occurrences. However, I think this comes back to bite them in their proverbial asses since it encourages people to stay out for the entire 3 days...they want to get their moneys' worth since they've missed out on 8hrs. It also begs them to work OT to make up for that lost sick time, that was earned in the first place! I know...ridiculous, right?

The bad part about this is that for some of the more honest employees, it actually discourages them from taking ANY time off when they are sick, or they wait until they have to go to the doctor's office because they are so bad off. Therefore, all of us get to work in the now germ-infested office and breathe the same germ-infested air. A co-worker of mine has been out all week long so far with the flu and I have been fighting something off for the better part of a week. This person was quite sick before deciding to stay home and now they think they are doing us all a world of good by continuing to stay there. Guess what...the damage is done and now I will be lucky to escape aforementioned lost time myself. Aye carumba people...keep the crap at home! Don't wait until you've infested the entire freaking office!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Express Yourself!

Expressions! I love expressions...old ones, new ones, classic ones and little-known ones too. Every once in a while someone will utter an expression that has been long forgotten and it just tickles my funny bone. For instance, just a few minutes ago we heard this loud 'thump' and a co-worker of mine uttered 'That's going to leave a mark'. We all busted a gut and it made me think of the movie 'Tommy Boy' (which I believe the expression is derived from). Then it made me think of expressions in general and how they can be such a link for people to connect with others. They are a great conversation starter and can get you going in all sorts of different directions. I'll have to remember that when I go to my next party (because the invitations are piling up on my doorstep, let me tell you). I find it to be just terribly interesting trivia...the origins and derivations of pop culture sayings, as well as those timeless expressions. For instance, did you know the word 'gesundheit' actually is German for health? Therefore, when a person sneezes, Germans (and others to follow) typically say Gesundheit! to wish them good health. It does not mean 'bless you' or 'God bless you' as so many have assumed it does. I am an untapped well of useless knowledge...what can I say? I'm a trivia whore!

Votorama

Get out the vote? Get out the REASON to vote!!!! That's right...it's election day once again. I performed my civic duty and marched into my polling booth this morning, bright and early..(I'm quite certain I probably voted for the same asshole that gave me a parking ticket this morning since there was no parking available in my apartment lot). As I waited in line to cast my ballot, I enjoyed listening in to the various conversations taking place around me. Most of them were centered around how negative the campaigning and advertising have become and how it's keeping people out of the precincts on election day. One gentleman was quite disgusted and said he thought about not voting at all. It seemed he was still thinking about it as he stood in line to do just that. He was talking about how he didn't know anything about the candidates, he was only given the reason to NOT vote for their opponents but didn't know where any of them really stood. It was all I could do to not tell him to go home and go back to bed. I will not vote unless I am an informed voter so I almost always do my homework prior to voting and if I haven't, I don't vote. I am not for putting someone new in office just to boot out the incumbent. Change doesn't always garner forward progress.

Happy voting America!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Nano-nothing

Day 4 and I've done no more. Haven't even picked up my pencil since Day 1. I'm not sure how this is going to go at this point. Since this is my first venture into the true novel-writing experience, I am not sure exactly how to attack it. I'm worried about coming up with the story before I write it. I've been writing and developing my characters but not sure what is going to happen with them. In a way, I feel like the story will reveal itself to me as I continue to write, and yet, at the same time I want to have some kind of idea. At this rate though, I won't have my 175pg novella by November 30! One thing I am learning (or should I say reinforcing) is that you can not MAKE yourself write just for the sake of writing. You have to be ready to write and WANT to write. I figure that even if I don't complete this project (which a great deal do not) it will at least push me into that mode and give me the experience of writing a short story. And who knows...I may even surprise myself...I am excited to see what is going to happen with my characters. More later.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Is it Day 2 already?

I started a little something and I really like it so far, but I'm not sure what my story is going to be about just yet. I'm more or less formulating ideas in my head as I go along. I think it's going to be good. I don't know that I'll actually complete this project (especially since I don't really even know what I'm undertaking) but I figure at the very least, it will get me started to writing. Maybe just kind of put me in that mode and get me going. I do know I am very excited about it and there is something about writing that is so freeing...being able to disappear into a character, or even become that person on a certain level. I suppose it could be likened to acting in a way...the people on stage literally become the character they are portraying. I think writing is similar in that regard since you need to really get a feel for the person you are trying to introduce to your audience. It's just a weird feeling though...not knowing what direction my story is going in and yet the words just keep coming. Odd. Well, it should be interesting to say the least! Maybe I'll have a better idea after the weekend, since I plan to write like crazy!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Writers...Pick up Your Pens!

Day 1 for Nanowrimo! Haven't written one word yet...I've had my first line for quite some time though. It didn't help that I didn't get out of the office until after 8pm last night and am exhausted today, as well. However, I will not let that daunt me or lead me astray from my path! It's still Day 1, there's nothing in the rule book that says you HAVE to start at midnight (never was one to get a head start on things) so I figure I'll be doing just fine. Besides, I'm one to really formulate things in my head before I put them on paper (which I actually do, by the way). I'm probably going to have to forgo my love of longhand writing for this little project though, if only in the interest of time. I believe my weekends are going to be ripe with writing frenzy! Here we go!